For my Birthday I decided to call, okay let’s be honest, text my homegirls and invite them to a girls night out. I was toying with the idea for a while but didn’t commit to actually making plans until about a week before. I was going through what a lot of moms go through when they try to make plans without their little bundles of joy, guilt. I felt guilty for wanting to have a night out without diaper changes, temper tantrums and meal refusals. I didn’t want to dump the baby on my husband on one of his only nights off, just so that I could go out & get tipsy and then emotional about turning a year older in a city that worships the young. But I realized that feeling guilty about leaving OUR baby with her daddy that worships the ground that she runs on, is just silly. He’d yuck up their daddy-daughter time and I’d have a moment to catch up with friends and my sanity. So a couple nights before the ol’ Bday, out we went to enjoy the terrible service, strong cocktails, and amazing deserts that West Hollywood has to offer…
The next morning I woke up with a stomachache and a slight hangover, but more importantly a grateful heart. Grateful to have badass ladies in my life willing to take the time off to spend a night with a mama they don’t get to see very often these days. Grateful to catch up and laugh until my belly hurt. Grateful that my friends don’t mind me gushing over my daughter and shoving pictures of her in their face all night one bit. Grateful to have such a beautiful little girl who looks at mommy like she’s the moon, even when waking up in hangover hell with last night’s smoky eye smeared all over my face. Grateful to have a husband that supports his wife in whatever makes her happy, whether that’s woooooing it up with her ladies every once in a while or heading off to sneak a silent hike up Runyon Canyon for the solitude.
Although I know that as a mom, wanting a little ‘me’ time isn’t selfish at all, honestly, I don’t really realize it. I’m slowly but surely becoming okay with it. If I feed my own soul with time for myself, everyone benefits. But sometimes it’s hard to remember that, no matter how many times my husband reminds me to do so.
So a solo trip to the movies here, a little meet up with friends there, even accompanied by a camera roll full of baby pictures to sneak a peek at, can only do the mind, body & soul good.
Here’s to another year of changing, growing, learning, and a smell step towards self love with self care.